All Journeys Begin Somewhere

I have always lived on the edge of creativity.  I wanted it but was terrified of it.  Terrified of failure, ridicule, of not creating something perfect.  So I would follow patterns, copy other people's ideas and play it safe.  Sometimes my will to create disappeared altogether.

I have been making jewelry for a number of years now.  I started just for me but with my sister soon started doing a few art shows a year.  As a learner it was easy to follow patterns and copy other people's work.  It was how I learned.  But as the years went by I started to critique myself into submission.  Where was my originality?  Why wasn't this perfect? And my work began to slow until it stopped.

Somehow, someway I found an online watercolor class.  I love watercolors and used to think I wanted to learn it.  This class was different than any of the landscape classes I had seen.  It was simpler? sort of.  It was more design, capturing an essence or a piece of time.  The sample was graphic, appealing and I wanted to be able to do that so much I signed up for the class even though it was several weeks underway.  I never did catch up but the lessons and the instructor motivated me to want to create again. 

So how does this old photo of my Mom and Dad fit in?  Maybe it doesn't but when looking for a photo to include, this was the first that grabbed me.  My Dad was always telling us that we needed to be independent thinkers and not to let someone else determine who we were going to be.  (Mind you he really meant was to be what he thought we should be.  LOL  But that person was strong, independent and creative.  He was sort of stunned when his children would stand up to him as they got older and we always wondered why it would surprise him.  Anyway, my Dad died a year ago and I often think of his words and I guess in more than one way my journey began with him....and my Mom of course who has loved me and mine without question.

I don't know if or how this blog will help my creative life, maybe it won't but I still feel as if I am embarking on something new.  A journey that will loosen up my self critical approach to art and allow me to relax and enjoy the simple joy of capturing an idea, an image, a feeling on paper or metal or fabric.  Hopefully I can use that in all aspects of my creative and daily life.  I need to be free......